ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can feel your judgement through the phone
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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