So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
