What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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