You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
