i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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