Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I love you.
Bad choice
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
