Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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