u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My breasts were aching with rage.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
