I must be too annoying 4 u.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
