She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
