We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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