Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm really busy with my period
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
