My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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