Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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