I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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