I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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