Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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