I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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