Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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