i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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