Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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