try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
