u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
