tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
