I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
