Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
