If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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