ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
