Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
