If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think people are normalizing furries
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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