hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize