i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
