Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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