So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize