On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize