Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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