I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
