the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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