she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
