i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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