wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
