Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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