apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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