she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
