If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
