Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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