I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Couch. On fire.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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