Your tits are I can't wait for
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
