just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
