The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
