Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
