Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize