Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I understand Curling. That high.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
