you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize