do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
