Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
