dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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