Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
