DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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