Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize