hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize