dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
