Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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