God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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